By Vanessa Jones
The new year brings new beginnings, fresh starts and sometimes depressing realizations that you’re still very single. When the clock strikes midnight, you find yourself among a crowd of people kissing, embracing and, for a second, it feels like all you’ve got is yourself. There’s nothing wrong with being single if that’s in fact what you want, but there’s almost always a reason why you are flying solo. Here are 10 reasons you’re single again at New Year’s:
1. You’re afraid of commitment: If you’re afraid of commitment, don’t expect to have a girlfriend or boyfriend for more than a couple months. If you want to have a relationship that won’t end when you hear "I love you," then consider dating someone who isn’t looking to get married any time soon and also wants to take things slow. If you want to keep your options open and not let anyone in, then put up that wall and you’ll find yourself single at New Year’s again.
2. You’re not over your last relationship: If you’re still pining over your ex and what you once had, you’ll definitely be flying solo for New Year’s. No one wants to date someone who isn’t over their last relationship and can’t stop talking about it. You can bet that while you’re sitting at home thinking about your ex, he or she is out there having a ball and not thinking about you. So, stop the pity party and move on.
3. You don’t date: If you don’t date because you’re preoccupied with your job, afraid of the opposite sex or don’t have time, you will most definitely be single at New Year’s. If you think you are too good to date, you’ll never find someone. Sure, giving your heart to someone puts you in a vulnerable position and you could end up hurt, but you could also learn a great deal about yourself, relationships and even, gasp, fall in love.
4. You date the wrong people: Some people don’t date and some people just don’t know who to date. If you have a track record of dating sleaze balls, prima donnas and people who are so wrong for you, it may keep you from being able to hold a relationship. Although some relationships can feel like a complete waste, try to learn something valuable from each experience and figure out what you want and don’t want in a significant other.
5. You’re in love with yourself: Self-love is fine and dandy, but if you’re so in love with yourself that you think no one else is good enough, you can go ahead and kiss yourself at New Year’s. Confidence is sexy, but egotism does not bode well in relationships.
6. You lack confidence: If you lack confidence, New Year’s may be a sad, sad night. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, it’s going to be that much harder to find someone to date you. You may retreat, stand in the shadows of your more outgoing friends and wait for someone to come talk to you, but that just isn’t going to cut it. It’s going to take some effort and confidence to let others see how great you are, and the rest will be history.
7. You scare away the opposite sex: Whether it’s your weak pick-up lines, awkward conversations or bad breath, you might be single for New Year’s yet again. If you find yourself scaring away the opposite sex at "hello" or after two months of dating, you may want to retrace your steps and see where you went wrong. Maybe it was nerves, insecurities or lack of chemistry, but continue to be yourself and put yourself out there because someone good will eventually come around.
8. You’ve stopped trying: Maybe you’ve let yourself go a little by growing a Grizzly Adams beard or not wearing makeup and quit going out to bars or parties with your friends. You may have simply stopped trying to impress or meet guys or gals because nothing has materialized for you. That’s understandable to an extent, but you’ve got to buck-up and get back out there because you aren’t going to find the man or woman of your dreams sitting on your couch.
9. You’re a player: If you’re a player, of course you’re going to be "single" on New Year’s night. You may actually have a girlfriend or boyfriend, but that isn’t going to stop you from picking up other girls or guys. This is a sad lifestyle choice, and you only have yourself to blame when you get burned.
10. You’re always in the friend zone: If you find yourself always ending up in the friend zone, where a person views you as a friend and not a romantic partner, then you’ll likely be single again on New Year’s. This can be a difficult zone to escape, but you’ve got to make the other person see that you’re more than just a nice guy or girl and you’d make an excellent mate. In order to do so, you may have to make a gutsy move, like asking them out or kissing them at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s.
